My storry is not completet but you have reed is that if i come back after 45 minute´s or a ouer than i have lucky and i have evrything need from story´s from people they where neare me. Do i not come back feel my haert and look to my eay´s the ey´s are very inportant. On the same time i cane be death. The energie who you must give is spectacular for to see but me make´s it tired very tired i have two days need to recuperating complete rust . It is a ilniss they do a ather not see you see nothing about me so hospitals have it diffecult with me. With a ather tipe they can just see too theire ey´s they shall not twinkle, nearly closed and the breaf is also not good theire are they walkt as a zombie evryting go slow, not with me i look a littele bit tired from my ey´s i do mine thing´s quick how quicker how better. My husband must always say not quick a littele bit slowly pleace that whas the furst man he dumt me not. 23 years happely married at the moment. So my stukkle of live is not only cancer is deadly more ilnisi`s you can take a coma then you out for the outside world but if you belief me or not i whas 3 time´s in coma three time´s i can see i can hear evrything what around me happend and if i must back to the hospital i feel myself rearly not glad a hope evry time that i come home without a rearly ilniss for ever then i´am two handicaps no thanks i found this enough. And i have always a conflict with my arts specialist whatevery you named it. And i have in the night also ataq´s then you have the dangerous that you maybee you breaf will stok in youre pillow, so that is also dangerous they will give you a dièt if the dokter it not anymore knows no fastfood no normale meat and vetgetables or somting what on a normale eatpatroon must like i have alwas care on myself not my carrier. My healh go always first but people they have cancer say that to by us i the Netherlands, evry year the people who has cancer or a famly has with cancer but to week than ride a nephew or a neighbour the Alpe´Huez they have this done six time. For Epileptic nothing at all, i want the Mont Ventoux up but without any sponsor you begin nothing. Look forward what can i do to the ather ilniss they are bee can deadly i must bee three times be death but i still alive. I have i think zeven friend lost on this ilniss you go to not enymore breaf between youre pillow and youre legs and arms if the ataq is to long then youre go to heaven you haert can not enymore it calaps. My parents did not know that when all the tree time´s where in coma that i hear and see, the rearly is can not discus with youre parent you can nothing only good hear and see. I have tat three times already be death. I wash at that moment in confilct whith my parents my father would, go to discus with the dokter of the machine can out. I wash not agreed, but the dokter make there no problem of, i make the problem the day after the should at between own or two a o´clock the machine put out so i should died. I wash in conflict with myself and my parents two days before i saw a butiful witnis coming light from far a way it com´s alway´s nearly to me so butiful i hear, take my hand. Is me task over here on earth no with task have i, a havy task you can come but you live futher away on earth. Rearganation should bee. I chose for the task would i have to do and shall be do and may normally on my end. The discsion the fight i will be the furst that before my parents came i whas wake up early in the same morning they brought me to eat the boy in that wight closes thout he saw a ghost i ask for a newspaper and a cop of caffé milk and sugar. He go to the dokter he looket me nurolositic reacarch he did i have nothing on my brains. My parents are been called if then can come, so the did. Anyway i won the fight, you may never a person from a machine hold because you know that he or she shall died. But evry people get born whit a task you can go when you, you task are ready or confirmation i know it it´s not the same. And than we´ve not discust about relationship and a women that have epileptic ataq´s. The man would you for a rape his sac is empty i feel my so nasty they saw that i with my lot of medication, i must they have she don´t know about sexuality but i know evry thing. And rearly enough that wash also three or four times i have discustet about this confilct with myself i came not out about it but the women help´s me good three years after a stick. I shamed me i get in that peiod more medication, so if i now must take. My live i see it as a strukle of live, you fall you must stand up, again and again. This is a personally story with three times to fight against the death so i live until i have my task has finsht. 60 years i have those problems with myself, but when i not anymore work, yeas somtimes i have too,Than i can things do what i like and this problem i have early wrote in it Netherlants the only own is that my wish come true and that it in the Netherlants shall be pulishing.